After almost three weeks of city hopping and intense sightseeing, we began staying in resorts and pampering ourselves silly. On our tour of Thailand’s Andaman coast we stayed in three places: Phuket, Ko Phi Phi, and Krabi. All are absolutely gorgeous but unique. We started out in Phuket, a beach town known for being a little seedy but still completely beautiful, as long as your looking at the beach, and not at the streets. Jason made an apt comparison to the Wisconsin Dells, where there are tons of stores, restaurants, bars and random themed places packed into busy streets. What it does have that the Dells doesn’t is a beautiful beach and still a decent amount of jungle surroundings. We spent our time on the public beach and hanging out at at the hotel pool with the swim up bar, a lovely feature. Fun fact about Phuket: most of the tourists are Russian and there are tons of signs and menus written completely in Russian. Not that I’m an expert, but I think some of their translations were a little off.

jason on kata beach with pad thai and chang in hand. 

After two days in Phuket, we took a ferry to Ko Phi Phi. We originally had planned to only spend one night there, but as soon as we pulled up I knew that was a mistake. We checked in and extended our stay, because this place is unbelievable. Ko Phi Phi is a tiny island that has no roads and is largely cliffs with jungle growing on it. However, resorts have snuck in on the edges of the island. You travel everywhere on the island by long tail boats which just hang out by the hotels. There are no stores, no signs, just undisturbed nature and hotels. Not a bad deal. Our resort was a series of bungalows on the beach, so we had our own little house. We spent a lot of time laying on the beach or at the pool that overlooks the beach and reading, but one day we went on a day trip to Maya Bay (where the movie The Beach was filmed) which was somewhat overrated - its beautiful, no doubt, but overrun with tourists (like us) and honestly not that much more exciting that Ko Phi Phi itself. We also spent that day snorkeling (I am thoroughly freaked out by the things that live in the ocean) and hanging out with the local monkeys.

maya bay

After three days of sheer calmness and beautiful views, we headed to Krabi by ferry. When we got off the boat I was immediately disappointed to see roads and cars and people yelling about tours they’ll take you on, but when we got to our resort all disappointment went away. The resort is not in the main part of Krabi called Ao Nang, it is further north surrounded on one side by another hotel and on the other side by a national park. It has it’s own private beach and an amazing pool that looks over the beach similar to our last stop. Also, when we checked in the receptionist told us we’d been upgraded to the honeymoon suite. We didn’t comment, but also didn’t realize that this meant we got a free bottle of champagne and a chocolate cake that said congratulations. We didn’t correct them, and we did enjoy the amenities. We spent five days in Krabi, again, mainly relaxing and reading, but also doing some day trips. We befriended a long tail boat driver named Noush, and we took us to a couple of the more secluded islands and kayaking through a mangrove forest. Around our resort and throughout much of the Krabi coast there are hundreds of long tail boats with fisherman hanging out with long poles with nets on the end. Noush told us they were catching jellyfish and then I started to notice how many jellyfish there were in the water. They are huge and gross looking and often get caught in the motors of the boats so the dead ones wash up on shore every once in a while. That put an end to my swimming in the ocean fun, but Jason went snorkeling and of course got stung on his arm and neck. It healed after two days but wasn’t too fun. Apparently the jellyfish are only prominent in the rainy season (four months) and are a delicacy in Chinese and Japanese cuisine, so they catch them by the hundreds and sell them. We have some great photos of them fishing. Today is our last day in Krabi and we are flying to Bangkok tonight before starting our long trip back home. I am somewhat ready to come home. A month is a great length for a vacation and we’ve had an absolutely perfect time. We are excited to see everyone and share pictures and more exciting stories!

day trip to hong island. not going into the water.

We left Chiang Mai early Saturday morning for our first flight since we got to Thailand. I found it pretty entertaining that flying has become my most comfortable an safe mode of transportation - on this trip we’ve been on carts attached to motorcycles, in the bed of trucks driving through the mountains, on rickety boats and rafts, and on elephants. But when I sit down on an airplane it’s like a breath of fresh air, I know exactly how this works.

We arrived in Siem Reap into extreme heat, which wasn’t so different from Thailand, but worth mentioning again. An interesting fact about Cambodia is that they use US dollars as their currency. The real Cambodian currency, called the riel, is used as change. So if you buy something for $1.50 and pay with $2.00, you get 2000 riel back. We found out later that the reason for this was because the government and currency has changed so frequently here that they decided to stick with the ever consistent and reliable dollar (although there are many in America that would probably disagree). The city of Siem Reap itself is interesting. Since Cambodia opened up its border about 10 years ago after the end of their civil war, the city has seen over a million tourists a year visiting Angkor Wat and the surrounding temples. Because of this, the city has grown immensely to accommodate the tourists. Unlike a lot of the cities in Thailand, the architecture and style in Cambodia is very European since it was a French colony for many years. It almost has the Vegas feel where there is fancy hotel after fancy hotel lining the main roads (but French colonial rather than Vegas tacky). Our hotel was no different.

Our first night in Siem Reap we wanted to go see the floating villages on the river, but unfortunately missed the last boat. To entertain ourselves and do something different, we decided to go to a traditional Cambodian dance performance held at a restaurant near our hotel. The venue was absolutely huge, and with our $12 tickets we also got to eat dinner at the beautiful buffet of all sorts of delicious Khemer food. The benefit of a buffet in a situation like this is you get to sample everything you could want. The downside is that once the performance started, people continued to go up and down to get more food, which was really distracting. The performance itself was really good - amazing costumes and interesting music. However, the true cultural experience came after the performance was over. Jason and I in our customary way began clapping. The rest of the audience ran up to the stage, and then began getting on the stage, while the dancers stood still and expressionless. The audience then began to fight for a good spot next to the dancers while their counterparts took photos of them. This continued for, I’m not kidding, a least half an hour, while the people who didn’t make it on stage first rotated up. The entire time the dancers barely moved, until an American guy (who was clearly as surprised by this turn of events as we were) decided to go up as well and get his photo taken. He was at least two feet taller than anyone else on stage, and that got a smirk out of one or two of the dancers even though they tried to maintain a straight face.

cambodian dance show

Sunday was dedicated to sight seeing. Per the recommendation of some of our other friends that have been to Siem Reap, we hired a guide and driver for the day to show us around the temples and give us some historical context. Our guide was great, spoke very good English, and was able to answer every question we could come up with. Angkor Wat is only one of the temples situated on 400 square kilometers of land, so getting a guide to show us around some of the other impressive sites was really valuable. We toured three temples in six hours. Angkor Wat, which is the most famous and iconic in Cambodia, was first. I was most impressed wit the sheer size of it all, but also with the amount of intricate stone carving that was on every inch of the temple. The other interesting thing I learned was that Cambodia has teetered between Buddhist and Hindu leaders all throughout it’s history, so a lot of the carvings and images are a mix of the two religions. When a new leader would take over, instead of starting from scratch in building these temples, they would simply carve a third eye into a Buddha and then it would become a Hindu god. It reminded me a lot of the churches in Cordoba, Spain that were converted from Moorish temples to synagogues to churches and all over again. One of the other really neat places we saw was a temple that has been completely overgrown by the jungle. They are trying to restore it, but it’s almost more interesting the way it is. What happened was that over the centuries birds would deposit seeds on the roofs or inside the buildings and these weird “soft” trees would start growing on the roofs. The roots of the trees would actually grown down towards the ground, and eventually take over as the base structure of the buildings. It looks like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Fun fact - this is also where the movie Tomb Raider with Angelina Joile was filmed, a fact that our tour guide seemed surprisingly proud of.

tree roots growing down.

That evening we realized there was a small lizard in our hotel room, and because this has actually already happened at least once, didn’t do anything about it. The lizard began making noises as about midnight and continued at least every hour or so. It sounded like lasers were being shot around our room. It’s amazing the things you can get used to.

our lizard friend.

We took a mostly non-eventful bus from Mae Sot to Chiang Mai. The only issue we ran into is that we accidentally opted for the second class bus which meant that you fought for a seat (we won) and everyone else stood in the aisles.

We arrived in Chiang Mai mid day and were able to find our guesthouse with ease. For the first time since we got to Thailand, we were in a city that felt walkable and completely safe (not that the other cities were threatening, but we never really felt totally comfortable). Chiang Mai feels like a significantly more international city - lots of Italian, French, American style restaurants. There is a lot more signage in English, which under normal circumstances I usually frown upon in foreign countries but after spending a week in the jungle and tiny cities was a relief. There were also a noticeable amount of American and European people roaming the streets. It’s also a small enough city that you can look at a map , start walking, and always know at least where in the city you are (unlike Bangkok where at no point did I know where I was in relation to other things).

That first night we took a walk through the city to the night bazaar. The bazaar has thousands of little booths selling a variety of things - from your standard tourist stuff and all sorts of fake designer products to really nice jewelry and some authentic Thai goods. We got a mix of both (no fake designer stuff) an then it started raining really hard. Conveniently there is a huge food court area with tons of Thai vendors under a tin roof in the area, so we stayed out of the rain there but could barely hear each other with the rain pounding on the roof. Also under this same roof is a smattering of Thai massage places, so to wait out the rain and to indulge ourselves, we got half hour foot massages for $3 each. Not a bad deal.

jason + pad thai in the food court.

The next day we spent all day at Chiang Mai Thai Cookery School. This was a recommendation from my sister from when she was in Thailand almost 10 years ago and I would pass the recommendation on to anyone who visits Chiang Mai. The class was about 12 people from all over the world (Australia, Argentina, Holland, France, China and Taiwan). We started out by getting a tour of the local market which reminded me a lot of La Boqueria in Barcelona. The most interesting part was seeing the coconut stands and how many products they produce from one fruit (milk, cream, oils, ect). We then went to the actual cooking school, where we were taught how to make six delicious Thai dishes. The way it worked is the chefs would demonstrate one dish, explaining all the ingredients and techniques, and then you would go out to your station and prepare the dish and then eat it. The best part was that most of the time consuming prep work was done for you and everything was cleaned up after you - you just got to do the fun part and then eat your tasty concoctions. My favorite dish we made was a red curry fish dish, which I will certainly be recreating at home. We also received a cookbook with everything we made for easier recollection. After a six course meal in 90 degree heat, we knew we weren’t going to be hungry for dinner, so that night we headed to the area of the city by the university an found a wine bar. We spent more on a bottle of wine that we have on probably all our bus and train tickets combined, but it felt very good to drink real wine (as opposed to rice wine, which I made the mistake of ordering once).

cooking school

Our last day in Chiang Mai was dedicated to sight seeing, which included visiting several of the wats in the city, which are different from the ones in Bangkok. Many of these are still functioning. We also got to people watch as a group of young traditionally dressed monks toured the temple and took pictures of Buddhas on their Blackberrys.

chedis near the wats.

Our final night we also decided (it was my suggestion) to try out one of the non-Thai restaurants since the options looked good. We found a tiny French restaurant that fit what we were looking for, and were very happy eating something different and not spicy for the first time in two weeks. Overall we were really impressed with Chiang Mai. It’s a good city to stop in once you’ve seen Bangkok and other cities for contrast sake. I think it wins for my favorite so far.

We had an adventure. We expected to have an adventure, but this was significantly more real of an adventure than we anticipated. At 8:00am, a man in an open bed truck with a bench picked us up from our hotel and drive us 4 hours through the mountains of northern Thailand into the jungle. To explain my fear of driving in the back of a truck doing hair pin turns on a pothole filled road next to a cliff for 4 hours seems unnecessary. We also learned later that most of this trip we were just minutes from Myanmar, and actually drove around it. But, we made it, with no bumps or scrapes, to Umphang, a Thai national park in the middle of the jungle. We were met by our trekking guides, one of which spoke English, and immediately loaded onto a raft to begin our adventure. Rafting down the river and getting to see the cliffs and waterfalls, the vines and animals was pretty neat. Jason and I sat in the middle of the raft as our 3 guides steered and rowed. Halfway through, we came across a family of 5 whose raft had been punctured and was now quickly deflating. People are pretty friendly to others they encounter in the jungle, so we took their 3 kids into our raft while the adults dealt with figuring out how to fix/take the raft out of the river. We ended up dropping them off an hour or so later at what seemed like a camping site, although I’m not really positive how they were meeting up with the other 2 members of their family, but it seemed legit. As I said, this was an adventure. We continued down the river for another hour or so until our guides saw a cave that looked fitting for sleeping, so we docked there and set up tents. Our guides began to prepare us dinner. It felt a little strange to not help do anything, but we gave up trying and sat down and watched it all happen. After eating a delicious 3 course meal of soup, rice and stir fry, and fruit, we were full an happy to go to bed. It had started raining while we were eating, and we then understood why we were camping in a cave instead of out in the open.

dinner in the cave

It rained like that the entire night. Day two of our adventure was the difficult trek. We knew that going into it, and a month ago when I tore my ACL we were contemplating canceling this part of our trip because I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to do it. We didn’t. So, we started out by loading up our packs and climbing up a small, muddy, slippery cliff. I don’t know who was more worried between Jason and I about me slipping and falling, but we managed. The first hour of the trek was all uphill, and although difficult, it was fun. About 30 minutes into it, it began pouring again (sadly we have no pictures because we didn’t want to get our cameras wet). We were completely soaked, including shoes, socks, and underwear. But hey, when you’re in the middle of the jungle, what can you expect? After about four hours of what was supposed to be a three hour hike (the rain makes it significantly harder), we made it to the campsite. We rested, ate, and attempted to dry off (impossible) before changing into our bathing suits and walking over to one of the world’s most beautiful waterfalls. To actually swim in the waterfall, which we not only wanted but needed to do we were so dirty, you have to climb on really slick rocks barefoot. At this point my knee was so tired I was positive I was going to fall in. I didn’t. We did, however, make it over to the side you could actually swim in. Getting into the water in my bathing suit I realized I was the only woman not swimming in shorts and a tshirt, which is apparently the norm here. Regardless, we cooled off, got relatively clean, and Jason even managed to swim out and get under one of the smaller waterfalls (I am not good enough of a swimmer). That night we slept in the campsite with the loudest crickets and other insects I’ve ever experienced. I kind of wish I recorded it. It was insane. What was also insane was the foot long lizard I encountered in a bathroom stall after being freaked out by a hose that I thought was a snake. I opted for a different stall.

we made it to the waterfall.

Day three of adventure trip was another trek, much flatter and easier that the previous day. It was much sunnier and drier, which was good, because our legs were exhausted. We trekked for a couple of hours to a village where we would be staying the night. The village was in my opinion the most interesting part of the trip. There are 300 people who live there, in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by beautiful cliffs and forrest. Each family has 5-7 kids, so there are children running everywhere. They live in completely open houses with no doors or covers on the windows. Most people farm, and they recently built a school. I spent a good couple of hours just people watching and taking photos. The other unbelievable thing is how nice everyone is. Our guide gave us a tour of the village and told us a little bit about the people and the history. We were surprised that all their chickens, cows, dogs, and pigs are free to roam the village, but our guide reassured us that the animals always come home to their rightful owners at night. Watching these people and seeing how they lived made our lives back home seem absurdly complicated. Just thinking about what they do on a daily basis versus what we do is almost comical.

children in the village.

Another fun surprise was that our trek actually joined with another trek. Our guide told us that for this night and the following day, we would join up with a group of 10 Danish people. Sounded alright. When they joined us in the village, Jason and I commented to ourselves that they looked kind of young. We didn’t quite have a grasp on age though until we started chatting and found out that they all just graduated from high school and were taking a year or two off to travel and do crazy things. Apparently this is the norm in Denmark - the group of 10 didn’t actually know each other, they had all come in groups of two. It was at about dinner time when Jason and I started to feel really old hanging out with 18 year olds. We stayed up and played drinking games with them for a while, and soon realized these days are over for us, and we’re okay with that. However, going to bed in a one room tiny hut under a mosquito net while 10 other people are loudly drinking on the porch isn’t actually possible. They went to bed at 1. The roosters started up at 4:30. I was tired.

Day four started out a little groggy and I was starting to feel the pain of not having showered for 4 days and having slept on the ground for 3 nights. But, when we got up, our guides made us breakfast and then 5 elephants showed up at the village. Our last adventure was an elephant ride through the jungle back to the main village where we had started. The elephant has a big wooden basket tied to its back, and a Thai man sitting on it’s head. We sat in the basket on top of our backpacks. We named our elephant Hodor, which only a few of you will get, but we thought it was pretty clever. The elephant ride was like everything else on this trek - far more intense than we expected. We rode for three hours through the jungle, going up and down and through rivers in a way I never expected an elephant to be able to do. They have some solid footing, that’s for sure. At the end, when the elephant could see it was close to its destination, it started running. I wish I had that on video.

jason, me, nice thai man, and our elephant friend.

We were dropped off back at where we started, had a quick lunch, and were back in the truck that took us here for four more hours. I don’t know if it just wasn’t as bad, or if I have lost all sense of crazy fear after being in the jungle, but I was not the slightest bit afraid or uncomfortable as we zoomed down the crazy turns two inches away from a cliff. Or maybe I just knew there was a shower and soap and the thrill of being clean again awaiting me that nothing could bring me down.

When we got back to Mae Sot and checked into our hotel, I’ve never in my life been so happy to get clean or sleep in a real bed. But as I said, we signed up for an adventure and we sure got one.

Our adventure into northern Thailand started out quite well. We asked the hotel to help us find a bus to Mae Sot, a small city close to the Burmese border. We gave the lady 1200 baht, she gave us back a scrap of paper that said that we’d be picked up and a stamp that said “paid.” She told us to be downstairs in the morning by 9:30 and that someone would pick us up and take us to the train station. I’ve learned not to be too skeptical of Thai people because so far they’ve been nothing but helpful, but the simplicity and unofficial-ness of it all is something to get used to. Sure enough at 9:30 the next day a nice man in a tuk-tuk picked us up, drive is to the bus station, and bought us our very official tickets.

After our $1 train excursion we opted for the VIP bus (for $20 each) so we were very content with the double decker air conditioned bus that we boarded. While Jason spent most of the bus ride staring out the windows and rattling me when something interesting came up, I was determined to finish the last Game of Thrones book that I’ve been lugging around from city to city and now across the world. The hardcover 1000 page book weighs more that most of the clothes I brought combined, so I was ready to get rid of it. I finished the book just in time to look out the window an realize that the double decker bus was now winding its way along the mountains on the narrowest road I have ever seen. When we finally arrived in Mae Sot I was very happy to put my feet on the ground and equally happy to be alive.

That night we opted for dinner at the hotel and a Thai massage. What we did not expect was for two Thai ladies to come to our room to do the massage there. To put it in Jason’s words, “they beat us up.” This is not the spa-like rub oil on your back while listening to relaxing music. This is stretch your arm behind your back and punch it for a while to get the knots out. It was interesting, I’ll leave it at that.

We left off on the world’s hottest train to Ayutthaya. We did make it there, and knowing that our hotel was only a couple blocks from the train station we decided to walk (being the responsible people we are we had already looked it up). We were carrying all our gear and made it about 5 minutes before we realized we don’t know where we are and it is 102 degrees. We flagged down a tuk-tuk (Thai taxi which is actually just a tiny truck with a bench in the back). When we told the driver where we were going he kind of snickered, drove us past the train station and 2 feet in the other direction, and stopped. Oops.

Ayutthaya is the old capital of Siam and has lots of amazing historic ruins. Since it was so hot the day we got there, we took it pretty easy and relaxed in the hotel. The next day (I have no idea what day of the week - that’s the beauty of being on vacation for a month), we set off to see the ruins. Ayutthaya is surrounded on all sides by a wide river, so to get over to the actual city you have to take a ferry. It is exactly what you’d expect of a Thai ferry: tiny boat, engine sitting on top, people standing on the edges for the ride.

the ferry.

The ruins themselves were very impressive. We spent 3 hours walking around and exploring, getting some great photos, and profusely sweating. Again, it is 102 degrees. Jason and I were not meant for this weather. So after seeing as much as we could, we headed back to the hotel for some pool time to wait off the heat. For dinner, we found a small guesthouse that had a restaurant on the river. Highlight of the restaurant was the fact that thy were playing Tristan Prettyman’s latest hits. Pretty strange.

amongst the ruins.

After much anticipation, we arrived safe and sound in Bangkok on Sunday at midnight. High of the travel - having a 40 minute layover in Tokyo and having absolutely no issues with making our connecting flight. Low of the travel - I’ve never seen my feet get so swollen.

Our hotel in Bangkok is called the Royal Princess and is located in the older part of the city. The city is absolutely massive, no matter where you look or where you go there is someone or something in every nook and cranny. We started out our day on a boat ride through the canals of Bangkok. Pretty interesting to see how people live and the variety of conditions one city could have. Next, we went to the Grand Palace and surrounding wats (temples). The ornateness and size of it all is pretty unbelievable. Other bonus is that it was 100 degrees (seriously) and you must have your legs and shoulders covered, so I got to rent a very fashionable polyester top (one size fits all, of course). After a trip back to the hotel to shower and cool off with some “air con,” we went to a Thai boxing match. Unfortunately for me, we bought ring size seats (we didn’t understand at the time), so you could really see the sweat bouncing off the fighters with every hit and kick. The good thing about ring side seats is that you are protected from the crazy crowd of old Thai men screaming and placing bets on the fighters in the bleachers. So, I guess in the end that’s why they sell the foreigners the ringside seats.

touring the wats.

On the second day in Bangkok, we took a car ride out about an hour and a half outside the city to a village that has a “floating market.” It’s exactly what it sounds like - you’re on a tiny boat driven by a very nice older Thai gentleman, and you pass booths made up on the banks or women in canoes selling a variety of things. Our purchases ranged from a hat for Jason to fruit that had the texture of an eyeball but was delicious.

floating market.

After returning back to the city, we took it easy with some poolside reading and swimming. We wanted to get fancy with dinner, so we followed the recommendation of our guide book for a high-end Thai restaurant (of which there are few, food here is crazy cheap). After a somewhat terrifying experience with the cab to get there, we decided to go with the 8 course tasting menu. We were asked 3 questions before ordering:

1. The first course has alcohol. Is that okay? (yes)
2. Do you have any dietary restrictions? (their English was quite good)
3. Can you handle Thai spicy? (we said yes, we probably shouldn’t have)

The meal was pretty amazing although eating painfully spicy food while siting outside in 90 degrees is somewhat difficult. We were completely full by course 5, but had 3 more courses of desserts. Thai dessert is all different versions of sweet flour dumpling type mixture, and I would say isn’t all that great. We also didn’t follow some of the rules from the travel books for this meal (drinking drinks with ice and eating pre-cut fruit) so I was a little terrified of what was to come, but so far everything is still in order :).

course 8.

The third and final day in Bangkok was spent at a couple other landmarks that we skipped on day one. Mid-day we left for the train station in full anticipation of chaos and something going wrong as we tried to fin our way to Ayutthaya, our next destination. Surprisingly we purchased the tickets and got on the train without drama (tickets cost 30 baht for the 2 of us which equals one dollar). However, the train (as expected) has no air conditioning and I don’t know if I’ve ever sweat that much while sitting down in my life. As Jason and I drank our three water bottles and used my scarf as a swear rag, the two nice Thai ladies sitting next to us laughed at us. We’re wearing shorts and light shirts while everyone else is in jeans and long sleeve dark tops.

view of bangkok from train.

I am writing this post from the train as a way to take my attention off the fact that I am dying of heat. We’ll try to post again once we move on to the next city!

it’s friday, 7pm, and i have just finished packing for a month long trip to thailand and cambodia. my old self is very proud of my new self, which was able to pack a months worth of clothing and other goods into a one backpack. the key here is 3 pairs of shoes - sandals, running shoes, and a pair of tom’s. i’m going to feel so cool wearing tom’s in thailand - isn’t that what everyone is doing these days?

things we did to prepare for the trip:

1. got several shots/vaccines at the travel clinic to avoid all sorts of jungle diseases. the doctor asked me if i wanted a shot for a specific virus that i had a one in a million chance in getting. this lady obviously doesn’t know my history - yes, i would like all your expensive mosquito repelling vaccines.
2. soak lots of our clothing with mosquito killing spray.  we’re not messing around. 
3. get a new passport. no longer have my blonde 16 year old photo, sadly.
4. convince my mother that i am okay to go on a month long vacation with my torn acl.

so what’s left on our list:

1. town house close down procedures (to be executed by my friends that are staying the weekend, one day longer than us…)
2. copy passports and split up credit cards and money. jason bought a money belt. i am judging openly.
3. decide whether or not to take walking sticks for the trek. 

that’s it. it’s done. i’m ready. ahhhh!!

i’m a statistical freakshow. in 3 years, i have managed to injure myself 4 times. some of it my fault, some of it not. needless to say, my resilience and pain tolerance are pretty high at this point, but i’m ready to stop being the one in X thousand/million people to keep running into this stuff. here’s a summary, in chronological order.

1. april 2009 - dislocated hip leading to pinched sciatica nerve. in my attempt to get back into shape after graduating college and no longer having access to the serf, i started running a lot. those that know me well know that i am not a runner. i don’t particularly like it, i don’t look good doing it, and i’m not fast. however, i had this mindset that running was the only way to get in shape. after a couple months of decent training, i went out downtown with my lady friends to a couple of places that we only frequented in our early college days as a throwback. that night, i slept on the futon of my old college apartment, and upon waking we decided we may as well continue living in the past by going out to brunch at sunroom cafe. while leaving the apartment, i noticed a stool in the hallway, and sat on it and wrapped my legs around the back. this caused a sharp, immediate pain in my leg and hip, causing me to almost fall off the stool. yes, that is how i dislocated my hip. it snapped out and right back in, but in the meantime it pinched the nerve that runs from the center of your back all the way to your toes in my right leg. not cool. i didn’t think i could have injured myself that badly by sitting on a stool, so we continued to brunch, but shortly after that i was in the emergency department getting pumped full of morphine (which may have been overkill, but it was pretty amazing). i spent the next couple of weeks on vikodin and the next couple of months in physical therapy. it was also around the time i started on my new project at work and got to meet all my new co-workers. let me tell you, i make a great first impression on vikodin.

i have no pictures to depict this injury. sorry.

2. august 2010 - car accident resulting in compression fracture in my back. on a work trip to youngstown, oh, a drunk driver driving the wrong way down the highway collided with my car, sending me, liz, and zach rolling in our ford explorer. it was, undoubtedly, the scariest moment of my entire life. i’ll let the photo give you the details. i walked away with the most minor of injuries between the three of us. in fact, in the beaver community hospital they told me i was fine. it wasn’t until after we got back to madison and i continued to have severe back pain did i get an MRI, in which we discovered a compression fracture in my lower back. more vikodin. more physical therapy. 

our car after the accident.

3. january 2012 - eye infection after lasik. now here is where i get real special. lasik is a pretty common procedure with very good results. i happen to be the one person in a hundred thousand that got an eye infection after lasik. now what does that mean? no, i’m not blind. in fact my vision in my left eye is 20/15. my right eye, however, was sore, light sensitive, and blurry for a week or so after surgery, so i decided to have the doctor look at it again. these types of infections are rare and slow to kill, so i was on 4 different anti-biotic eye drops for 2 1/2 months. the drops are painful and make your eye sensitive to everything. you can’t wear make up - in fact, when i asked if i could start wearing make up after a couple of weeks the doctor told me that i could permanently tattoo my cornea if i were to accidentally get mascara in my eye. no thank you. i didn’t wear make up. after multiple follow-up visits, the infection is gone but my eye is still recovering from the anti-biotics and other harshness. in the end i will see 20/20 in that eye as well (and i’m getting close). i would still recommend people to get lasik, as never having to put contacts in again is quite a treat, and the chances of anyone i know having the infection are pretty minute. so your welcome friends, i took the 1/100000 spot for you.

this is after the lasik surgery, nothing to do with the infection. i just find this picture funny.

4. april 2012 - skiing accident resulting in torn acl. since jason and i bought season passes to a couple of mountains in colorado this year, and since ann now lives out in denver, we decided to do a last minute ski trip at the end of the season. we knew the skiing conditions wouldn’t be ideal, since it was 65 degrees at the bottom of the runs, but we went for it anyways. we skiied breck the first day and had a pretty good time of it, running into slush every once and a while, but minimal complaints. the second day we skiied in vail, where the snow was more sparse, but we had found a good run and were going down it for the forth or fifth time. and then i fell - it’s not even a good story. it was the bottom of a blue on the part that was already flattening out, and i decided to look behind me to make sure jason was still following, and caught an edge and flew. i was taken to the hospital in vail, where they diagnosed a torn acl, and gave crutches with ice picks on the bottom (seriously). it’s been 5 days since the accident, and i am already walking with one crutch and the knee brace (a huge improvement, let me tell you). i’ll need surgery, but putting it off until after jason and i return from thailand (read previous post for more detail).

pre-acl tear. spring skiing.

my goal for the rest of 2012 and 2013 is to stop being so special. that will hopefully help with the grey streak of hair that i’m developing as well. good news is that we’re still going to thailand. 

on april 28th, jason and i leave madison and spend 21 hours traveling to bangkok, thailand. and so begins our month of travel and crazy adventure. over the past couple of weeks, we’ve been putting the pieces together. first, buy the plane tickets. then, get the lodging settled. next, book the crazy stuff. last, make a list of what you want to do in each city.

we’ve made it through step 3, and now i am giggly with excitement. it all started to fit together when i saw it in tripit, my favorite application right now. so, here’s our current plan.

• april 28/29 - travel. hopefully we get upgraded again. doubtful.
• april 29/may 2 - bangkok. explore the enourmous city. ride bikes. visit temples. learn thai. (A)
• may 3 - ayutthaya. climb on ruins. (B)
• may 4 - ride in the back of a truck to mae sot
• may 5/8 - trek through the jungle on this lovely tour. it invovles elephants, bamboo rafts, and monkeys. (C)
• may 9/11 - food, cooking classes, markets, more temples in chaing mai. (D)
• may 12/13 - quick hop to cambodia. angkor watt and we’ll see what else. (E)
• may 14/15 - phuket. day trips to surrounding islands. tanning (me)/burning (jason). (F)
• may 16 - ferry to kho phi phi. so luxurious. (G)
• may 17 - find “reagee colored ferry” and overnight on maya bay. where the beach was filmed. don’t get as crazy as leo. i don’t know what we’re getting ourselves into, but this looks awesome. (H)
• may 18/22 - make our base in krabi. go around to all the other beautiful islands. read books. continue tanning/burning. relax. (I)
• may 23 - return to bangkok. (A)
• may 25 - fly out at 5am. return to reality.

here’s a visual:

is it april 28th yet?

in recent news, jason and i moved in together. being the talented project managers we naturally are, we diagramed out how we would arrange our furniture. this was our plan. 

this picture turned out to be not to scale. not even close. so we had to make some tough cuts. my retro coffee table, now the downstairs bedroom nightstand. jason’s new hautelook chairs, moving to his office. other random pieces of furniture, downstairs. our downstairs bedroom is, well, eclectic (and not pictured). but here is what we came up with.

living room combination.

yes, i alphabetized jason’s books into mine.

refinished bar.

coveted espresso machine and surroundings.

hooks for rings and watches.

i’ll never grow out of the picture frames. i may change the pictures.

combination pieces.

fab.com addiction is showing.

we also added a milwaukee print, but not yet framed.

every year, my old college roommates and i exchange secret barbie gifts. it’s secret barbie because we used to live in the barbie dream house (aka the BDH). you probably don’t want to or need to know more, but if you do, see post from oct 28 of last year for more weird details. anyways, this year, sami got me a pasta maker. how hipsterish - i love it.

so, on sunday, jason and i decided to put it to use. start from scratch on everything - the pasta (obviously) and the sauce. here is our step by step adventure (makes two servings):

step 1: combine 2 cups flour and 2 eggs in a bowl. that’s it. that is how you make pasta.

step 2: mix it all together with a fork.

step 3: prepare to knead dough. take off excessive amount of rings.

step 4: knead dough with hands. use extra flour.

step 5: roll into log on counter top.

step 6: cut into pieces and put into pasta machine. crank!

step 7: take at least one hipster photo.

step 8: let pasta sit on a damp paper towel for an hour.

meanwhile, make homemade sauce. 

step 9: chop up bell peppers (3/4 cup), garlic (2 tablespoons), kalamata olives (1/2 cup), and basil (1/2 cup). grate parmesan cheese and feta cheese (1/2 cup each). 

step 10: fry up peppers with a little bit of oil for 10-12 minutes. 

step 11: put two pots on the stove. in one, boil water. in the other, dump all vegetables minus the basil + 1/2 a jar of sun dried tomatoes and a can of diced tomatoes. once water boils in the first one, add in the homemade pasta.

step 11b: whine that it is taking too long. pour wine. stop whining.

step 12: let the sauce reduce for 15 minutes. once the pasta is done, strain it.

step 13: once the sauce has thickened, add in basil and cheese.

step 14: combine pasta and sauce. make it look pretty.

step 15: prove how good it is.

awesome gift, sami! excited to make more complex and tasty treats…so you should probably come visit and enjoy your own present.

when i was in elementary and middle school, i used to know the words to every single song on the radio. this did not impress my parents. they thought i was spending my time learning the lyrics instead of doing my homework. so they did what most russian parents do. they threatened me.

but here’s the funny part. their threat was, hilariously, that if i didn’t do my homework and study hard in school, i would end up being a postman in san francisco. why, you may ask? because my parent’s logic was that the idea of having to walk up and down the hilly landscape carrying bags and bags of mail would deter me from studying tlc and no doubt songs (which, for the record, i just happen to absorb subconsciously). and it did work - i consistently did well in school (minus the D in band and the comment ‘is destructive to learning environment’).

thinking back on it now, i wonder why being a postman in san francisco was my parent’s choice. in retrospect, it’s not so bad:

1. first of all, living in san francisco sounds fantastic - great weather, lots to do, delicious sea creatures everywhere.
2. walking up and down hills all day? sounds like i don’t need to go to the gym after work. 2 birds. 1 stone.
3. government benefits? why would you say no?

so, if they had to do it all over again (i guess not all of it, as i think my sister and i turned out alright), they may want to rethink the job threat they used. when my kids are slacking off in school, i’ll threaten them with being a driver’s ed teacher. unless cars drive themselves by then.

i have a business idea that i’ve shared with everyone who will listen to me in the past 2 months. now i will share it with the rest of you. i envision the info-mercial for my business to start like this:

“have you ever wished that there was a person that was as proportionally big to you as you are to a child? have you ever wanted someone to pick you up and carry you out of a restaurant when you were tired? all this could be yours, with gentle giants.”

here is a visual:

gentle giants are, as you may imagine, giants. they act like your parents if it was acceptable for your parents to treat you like a 5 year old, but with a twist. your gentle giant could carry you home when you were tired, put you in your pjs, take out your contacts, and plug your phone in. they would also make sure your alarm is set. i would personally use a gentle giant in the following scenarios:

1. out to dinner and i don’t want to wait for the check.
2. getting through the airport.
3. driving late at night.
4. calling at&t.

there are more. but that’s where i’d start.

my sister posed an interesting question at thanksgiving dinner: if you suddenly time-traveled to the past (~200 years) and were stripped of your modern day possessions, how would you prove you were from the future? note - you don’t wanted to be convicted of being a witch and hung.

my immediate answer: i would tell them that in the future, you can talk into your tiny hand computer and it will answer your every question on command. i would be hung. also, this is so far removed from their current state reality, that it would prove nothing. what is a tiny hand computer? how does it work? i don’t know - is steve jobs around yet? can i phone a friend? does the phone exist yet? nope - that comes in the late 1800s. 

so if you had to prove you were from the future, but needed to make it real for 1811, what would you do? i realize that i am completely useless. i don’t know how to make anything electronic or even basic mechanic things. i wouldn’t be able to make big improvements to protect people from natural disasters. i don’t know medicine. i don’t really know how weapons work. the one suggestion my sister had is to teach basic sanitation skills. i think i could convince people to wash their hands, but that is so not exciting at all. hi, i’m from 200 years in the future, use this soap (how do you make soap?) and you’ll live longer. boring. maybe i’d teach them to cook more exciting food than they ate then. that would be satisfying. but i don’t know how to grow any food. when does trader joe come into the picture?

maybe i could give them really cool modern haircuts? or haircuts from the 90s. that’s progressive - right? 

i think my best idea is writing plays based on today’s movies and tv shows that are based on the past. game of thrones, anyone? i think that would be a hit in the 1800s.

so what have i figured out? unless you are a engineer with the fundamental knowledge of how things are made or someone with clinical knowledge, you may not survive. we are products of our generations. and we don’t have that much advantage over people who lived 200 years ago without our gadgets. isn’t that an upsetting thought? 

other great ideas from family and friends:

1. start a democracy in the time of monarchies. you would be hung.
2. draw maps of land that has not yet been discovered. a good idea.
3. invest in apple. going back to the past does not ensure that you survive until 2011. unless you also invent time travel using materials in the 1800s.
4. ‘predict’ the future. you would be hung.

anyone else have any good ideas? would you be able to prove you’re from the future?